The Aggressively Religious One
I don't know if it's possible to save the soul of someone during the 15 seconds it takes to read a greeting card, but they're certainly going try. Within this card's peaceful exterior lies a barrage of religious quotes, information about Jesus and so very many prayers. Hey-when someone says they're praying for you, do you have to pray back? Why do you need so many prayers in the first place? Maybe you like the life you're living. I mean who needs Eternal salvation when you have Xbox Live? It's like, stop judging me God. F*ck it, pass the egg nog.

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